i met up with a friend last week and jon, my ex-boyfriend, popped up in our conversation. jon and i parted on very bad terms and neither of us attempted to restore an amicable (fill in the blanks. i can’t think of any politically correct word. ‘relationship’ sounds wrong. it’s not a friendship either.) we barely speak to one another at the turn of 2009 and never bumped into each other since new year’s day.
curiosity prompted my friend to enquire whether i have any plans of extending a handshake before i leave, putting all the mistakes and hurtful things we’ve done to one another behind us to avoid any awkward moments during future encounter. a kind friend he is, quoting examples of how estranged couples ended up as best friends. i laughed at the idea that day, saying it will be unnecessary to do so. since i will be leaving soon, future encounter will be scarce. i’ve put the past behind me, but it doesn’t mean i’ll have to force a friendship out of it.
let bygones be bygones.
while the echo of my laughter is still ringing in my head, Fate has things his way. twice in a week i bumped into jon, or rather i met him on the road. the first encounter happened on monday while driving my brother to tuition. with brother grumbling at the backseat about how he would be getting it from his teacher for being late, i was secretly cursing the slow driver in front of me before realizing it was jon. i took it as a chance encounter as we both live in the same town and a good friend of his lives in the same neighbourhood as i do. it’s just natural that we should bump into each other.
however, a second encounter again today, just a day apart from the first encounter, reminded me of my conversation with that friend of mine. i was up extra early today to drive my maternal grandmother to the hospital. groggy-eyed and thinking of hot coffee i was, when i noticed the black myvi in front. at first i thought my eyes were failing me but a second look at the license plate confirmed that it was jon alright. yet, i wasn’t too sure about it because there wasn’t a sheep thing (a token of love from his current girlfriend. something he will not discard even during our rendezvous back then) hanging from the car’s rear-view mirror. i was later distracted by my grandmother and put that little encounter out of my mind…until now.
a friend of mine puts it more accurately than the rest: i’m one who sits on my throne, waiting for those willing to climb the flights of stairs to get to me, instead of walking down the stairs and approach the people. it’s the same when it comes to extend apologies and patching things up. a natural stuck-up, i am. yet in this case, it’s for the better of both, to lessen the dramas in his already dramatic life and create no drama in my peaceful life.
of course, i’d like to mention, in case there are any misunderstandings: i have ceased to harbour any romantic sentiments and hatred towards jon, nor do i bear any grudge against him. i have yet to chance upon another man in my life, though i’ve met a few delightful ones. but i have the least expectation for that as i’m savouring other things life has to offer.
