i woke up this evening feeling a little lost. an incident that took place merely an hour before my nap suddenly seemed so surreal, as if it happened not in reality but in my dream. yet the incident did take place, one which i thought i would be able to savour while the memory of it is still fresh, and hopefully, preserve bits and pieces of it.
after dinner, i watched the bodyguard on my laptop for the third time and found myself crying at the end of the movie. not that the movie is especially touching, but rather the movie acted as a force that pulled a trigger which resulted in an emotional breakdown. i wonder what is wrong with me though. i guess the most probable answer will be non other than the infamous pms.
right now, i’m listening to inger marie gunderson’s rendition of i don’t wanna talk about it. it’s a lovely mellow song suitable for late night listening, best with a glass of wine to unwind. i love to put my itunes on shuffle mode. yet recently, it keeps singling out emo songs that pull my heartstrings everytime i listen to it. either they are songs with lyrics that touches my heart or songs that brings back images of the past, despite my huge archive of winebar classics and bossa nova.
one more thing: i dread to leave my family and friends, the people who have been my source of comfort, places where i seek solace, my comfort zone and the routine of life over here. in other words, i dread to be thrown into the unexpected and strange environment to start all over again. yet i’ve been told this is the process of life. a bird will finally leave its nest, so will i.
i promised myself to sleep before 11pm today. it’s already 12:36am. then again, i suppose it’s alright because waking up too early these days make my day longer with nothing much to do.
SAMMY, PLEASE START PACKING.
